


Am I possessive of Simon Snow?

by SimpleSoul_Shipper



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Boys In Love, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gay Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Ignoring Wayward Son, Inner Dialogue, M/M, Oblivious Simon Snow, POV Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Possessive Behavior, Post-Book 1: Carry On, Post-Canon, Protective Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow, Vampire Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23328166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimpleSoul_Shipper/pseuds/SimpleSoul_Shipper
Summary: Baz has a small inner monologue about the question: Is he possessive of his boyfriend?Is he or isn't he? Baz doesn't think he is, but the evidence could be stacked against himThe fic is rated 'T' for those moments where Baz is disturbed, which he is ask anyone.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 5
Kudos: 94





	Am I possessive of Simon Snow?

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Carry On obviously, otherwise Wayward Son would be much happier, I still recommend the series to everyone, simple for the masterpiece that is Baz.

It could be argued that I am a little possessive of Simon Snow.

I personally think that’s bollocks. But even so, I think that if I was, I would certainly have a right to be.

It is, after all, Simon _bloody_ Snow that I’m referring to.

He was Snow, my once enemy, who I thought would end my life with his sword, cursing my name and rising above my corpse covered in my blood. Who would never know the extent of my feelings.

But now, he’s Simon. My terrible boyfriend who isn’t as terrible as Wellbelove made him believe. Who’s a bloody heater and who gives me those thousand-yard-stares. Who kisses me both softly and hard enough to bruise my mouth.

We got a little off topic. But you can clearly see my argument, can’t you?

Simon isn’t perfect, but he is perfection to me.

And he is clearly _something_ to others.

Sometimes I take Simon out, mainly for food and occasionally for fun, and he always manages to attract someone. _Someone_ , male or female, they come up to him and take his focus away from what we’re doing, away from _me_ , and turns it on themselves.

But I’m not mad, I’m never mad. And I certainly don’t take whatever it is I’m feeling out on Simon, because within a moment he always turns back to me without fail, and smiles that gorgeous smile of his, and the other person is forgotten.

But, sometimes it’s hard. It’s hard to forget, to forget that others have Simon before.

I don’t mean Bunce, she is tolerable most days and is completely supportive of my relationship with Simon, and unlike Wellbelove I know she doesn’t have those feelings for him, she just wants him to be safe, never mind that he’s with a vampire, apparently I’m safe for him.

I’m not worried about my family either, they’ve long accepted that I wouldn’t marry a women, and Daphne adores Simon because he’s always willing to bake for her; I know for a fact that Mordelia steals his baking when he comes over.

It’s people like Wellbelove that bother me, she was Simon’s first kiss, his first romantic partner. I know they kissed because Simon always knows what tricks to use on me. The problem I have with her is that she didn’t even appreciate what she had. She had Simon Snow willing to do everything for her and she threw him away without a care for his feelings, pushing the blame onto me like always. And she though I would have ever been interested in her? Never.

It was people like the Mage. Who took and took from Simon, demanding everything from him and not caring that they were breaking him. Who saw things of him that I never could, the Mage stole Simon’s childhood, his happiness for 11 years, and because of the Mage I couldn’t even be close to Simon till out last year at Watford.

People like Simon’s fans also piss me off. They adore that Simon got rid of the Humdrum, they thank him for it, claiming that of course it was him who could do it. They ignore the wings on his back, the pain in his eyes, they ignore that it was their fault that Simon can’t go magic, because they created the fascination with the ‘greatest mage’ and so created Simon.

When I see people like this, when I see that pain in Simon’s eyes. I just want to lock him away from the world. I don’t want the world to see him. I don’t want them to see him, to touch him, I don’t want them to hurt him ever again.

Because I think it’s driving me mad.

I’ve practically moved in with Simon and Bunce, I don’t pay rent of course, but that doesn’t mean I do nothing for them.

Bunce has cared for Simon for years, I’m not worried about her, so if she wants some new textbooks or needs better Wi-Fi in the apartment well, _I have some from my mother, she was interested in this course_ or _if I’m here you need better Wi-Fi I know I good plan, no I’ll do it you wont pick the right one_. It isn’t a bother for her, besides with better Wi-Fi she can talk to her American boy more.

As for Simon, well, _Cook Pritchard likes me Snow, of course I have the scones recipe, but what will you give in return huh?_ Or _Snow those clothes are ridiculous, I will not be seen with an underdressed stud, takes these there better_. Or even, _Snow I have enough money to buy the building, at least let me put decent food in this fridge for when I’m here, no keep the leftover’s Fiona doesn’t like them_.

Whenever I do something like this Simon gives me his blinding smile, he suspects what I’m doing but I usually distract him from making a fuss.

But. It was a comment by a stranger that really got me thinking.

We had been out on another date, I took Simon to a café and ordered us a pile of scones, extra butter like he enjoys.

Simon was making comments about Bunce and school and I was talking about my degree. But then a stranger comes right up next to our table and starts flirting with Simon. I know that usually Simon goes right back to me in these moments, but the flirting was obvious and making Simon uncomfortable. I sent the person away with a glare and they gave Simon a ‘warning’ before leaving.

“This guy is way to possessive of you, better watch it before he goes crazy”

That made Simon mad in my defence and we both decided to leave for home to finish the scones.

That comment made me start thinking, was I possessive of Simon?

I didn’t think my relationship was possessive. Google was not help, it defined possessive as “demanding someone's total attention and love”.

I don’t demand Simon’s love or attention, and I’m fine with sharing him with my family or Bunce and her family.

I wouldn’t say I’m particularly jealous either, it’s just that I’ve waited so long for Simon and for a long time I thought we would end in blood.

Even if Wellbelove was his first kiss, that doesn’t bother me, it was the fact that the kiss didn’t matter to her, as much as it did to Simon.

If I was to be ‘demanding’ his ‘total’ affection or anything it would only be that I want Simon to only love _me_ romantically.

That isn’t possessive, that’s being monogamous.

So, I’m not possessive. But I think the reason that comment stuck with me was that I could be.

I have loved Simon for so long, I have wanted him for so long. I have the potential to do something horrible just to make him stay with me.

Simon is mine. I would be willing to do everything for him.

I would even kill for him.

I wanted to, when the Mage was hurting him, I wanted to rip his throat out with my teeth then kiss Simon till his mouth bruised, I wanted to do this while the Mage bleed out on the floor.

But that’s because I’m disturbed, not possessive.

I love Simon.

I know everything about him, I grew up in a tower with him after all.

Simon is everything to me, my life in Watford revolved around him, I thought my death would too. But now I know that my future is with him, that I am able to have a future with him.

How can I not want to keep him safe, to keep him happy.

That’s how I know I’m not possessive.

Because his happiness isn’t only with me.

It’s with Bunce, her family, my family, me.

And maybe one day, it’ll be with our _own_ family too.


End file.
